Struggles of a Millennial

I tend to live inside my head a lot and I often start believing it’s just me…it’s only me having these struggles, because life seems so much easier and simpler for others, doesn’t it? They don’t ask the questions that pop into my mind, their life looks so perfect on social media and they don’t seem to be bothered by anything. But just because they don’t show it, it doesn’t mean they don’t experience it.

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While talking to people, I’ve come to realize that it’s not just me. These are the struggles of many people who are my age, who are younger or older and they are definitely the struggles of most people in my generation. So, I believe it’s worth writing and talking about them, and especially doing something about them. Here they are:

1. Letting go of control and surrendering

I get so attached to outcomes, that if things don’t work out my way, I freak out. Letting go of control seems incredibly difficult and it takes a lot of practice, once I’ve lived so many years of my life with the illusion of control. When life hit me, I realized that nothing is in my control, except for myself. And sometimes, it’s even hard to control myself.

But what do I mean by controlling myself? I mean consciously choosing to react in a constructive manner in any given situation, instead of letting my emotions take over and make me say things I might regret or act out of fear. Controlling myself means letting things flow sometimes, without the need to lead them myself. Some things don’t want to be made happen. They just want to happen.

2. Focusing

In a world full of distractions, I learned the value of silence. As an introvert, it’s exhausting for me to be constantly surrounded by noise, shiny colors, ads, cars, people. I need some alone time to relax and recharge before I go back into the world and experience things.

While I appreciate the beauty of a big city with skyscrapers and people walking and driving everywhere to do things they love and be with people they love, I love being in a smaller town with less people and less activity and more nature, because it gives me that peace and that time to recharge. And for me, it truly helps with focusing. In the ocean of notifications and pop-ups, it’s a real struggle to focus and do the things I want to do, because there is always something else waiting to be done. So, how can one focus and enjoy the moment at hand?

3. Patience

Speaking of things waiting to be done… You know the saying ‘So much to do, so little time’? We are the generation of problems solved at the push of a button.

We want everything and we want it now!

We were raised in times of no patience. God forbid we have to stay in line somewhere! We’re gonna start getting irritated after a few minutes. We need to get someplace else, we can’t wait!

Patience is one of my biggest struggles. I am taking action now and I expect results in a few minutes, later today or tomorrow, the latest. I have no patience to keep doing things and see results in a few months or maybe a year. Ain’t nobody got time for that, right?

4. Which way do I go?

Back in the day, my mom went to school to be a teacher. She didn’t know about other opportunities being available after graduating, so she became a kindergarten teacher. That’s what she has been doing her entire life. Today, even if someone graduates from a Foreign Languages major like I did, there is always the opportunity to do something else, if one wants to. I can go for a masters in Business Administration and start working in this field. Or I can take a nutrition course and become a nutritionist.

The possibilities are endless nowadays, so we are faced with an unlimited number of options and we don’t know which one to take. Adding this struggle on top of patience is the surest way towards a life of anxiety and poor choices.

Sometimes, we take one road, but results don’t come as fast as we want, so we’re not patient to wait and we take another way. I’ve done that a few times in my life. Knowing what’s important to you can help release the struggle. It makes the choice easier and you feel more at ease when it gets tough, because you know it’s something that you love and something that is important to you, so you can handle the tough times. You can be patient.

5. Knowing who I really am and what’s important to me

But what if knowing who you are and what’s important to you is yet another struggle?

I had a conversation with my best friend the other day. He said:

`I’m still trying to figure out what it means to live this human experience to the fullest`

I started thinking about it, because we all get so many ideas and scenarios about what life should look like and feel like from our friends, family and society. We don’t even know what we want anymore and what would make this life worthwhile for ourselves. So here’s what it is for me:

It means doing the things that make you feel alive. It means living in love and connection, being in tune with yourself and loving yourself. Having that feeling of fulfillment at the end of the day. Waking up excited because you know that you are blessed to live another amazing day.

Isn’t this an incredible way to live your life? This is what I always strive for. And my days don’t always feel like this. But going back and revisiting this feeling as much as I can is what brings immense joy into my life.

I discover who I really am every single day. I constantly change, so there is no fixed idea about who I am. I try out experiences and I learn and grow. I experiment with life as often as I can. It’s pretty incredible what one can discover about themselves and about the world.

While there might be a lot of pressure to define who we really are and what we stand for, I think we should chill and take a step back every once in a while to observe ourselves and reflect on our behaviors. See if who you have been is who you want to be. And if it is, keep going. If it isn’t, change something.

These have been my struggles for the past year. It’s been challenging and tough and also incredibly rewarding to deal with these things. I am learning to love my struggles and to grow through them every single day.

Now, I know it’s not just me, so I’d love to know what your struggles are. What do you do to release them? How do you use them to grow?

Originally published on Medium