What Am I Doing With My Life?

I was speaking to a friend a while back and she was telling me that she’s seeing many teenagers and young adults who feel a lot of pressure. 21-year olds and even 18-year olds want to “make it”, to have it all figured out, to already know the answer to: ‘What am I doing with my life?’ by that age.

And truthfully, a lot of people in their late 20s and 30s feel that pressure, as well. Because by then, we should already be “established” adults, right?

I can see why we believe everything needs to be figured out real quick, even at a young age. We keep being told we should know before we’re out of high school.

In May 2011, I was celebrating my high school graduation. I had big dreams and I was talking about how our 10-year reunion is going to be. I was excited and thinking about the stories I’ll be sharing with my friends and classmates on how my life has changed.

While a lot of things have definitely changed, now,10 years later, the main thing I want to share is this:

We were sold an illusion and we bought into it. And it continues to happen today.

I’m not quite sure what the story is these days. With all these kids becoming influencers and millionaires before they’re even out of high school, the pressure might be to follow into their footsteps and be social media rich and famous asap.

Back then, the story was something along these lines: If you study well and get good grades, you’re going to be successful and happy.

Let me tell you: I did it and it’s an illusion.

10 years later, I’m just starting to figure out who I am, what I really love doing and how I can bring value into this world. I’m trying to understand what success and happiness look like for me and how to get there.

We should all know this by now, but I’ll say it again:

There are no recipes to live life and achieve success or fulfillment.

Studying well and having good grades is not the recipe for success and happiness. Just like being an Instagram influencer or millionaire is not the way to a life of freedom, travel and success.

There’s nothing wrong with doing any of these things, but none of them are “THE ULTIMATE PATH.”

Just like the stories I heard 10 years ago and before, the stories you hear today tell you the same thing – that if you do x, y, z, you’re going to be happy, successful, free, rich (insert your own desired state). Whatever it is that they’re saying is “THE WAY”, please, please, please, stop buying it.

Pause and think about yourself and what you love, what makes you feel alive and excited, what fills you up with joy. That’s where success, happiness and fulfillment are going to stem from. It’s very personal. If you’re honest with yourself, your way is going to look different from what you see on social media or around you for a few reasons:

Firstly, social media is not real. It’s starting to change, but for the most part, people still don’t post about their failures, their mistakes, their doubts, their fears, their challenges. They post their flashy and exciting results. Expecting your own journey to look like someone else’s result is just disempowering and unproductive.

Secondly, you are your own person. There is something magical about you that you need to uncover and put out there into the world. Your path cannot look exactly like someone else’s, because it is completely unique to you. It is the expression of who you are.

Saying yes to your own dreams and aspirations opens something up inside you and connects you to the force of life itself. When you say yes, you go beyond your fear and smallness and give yourself permission to hear, acknowledge, and move toward what life is calling you to do – those activities that make your heart sing and give meaning to your time on this planet.

Lisa Nichols

Of course, that doesn’t mean we should completely dismiss what others are doing and how they’re crafting their own path. There’s a lot we can learn from each other. I have people I look up to and get inspiration from.

What I am saying is that we should always check in with ourselves and filter things through our own value system. Then, we can decide whether this is something suitable for us or even something that we’d like to try out for a while. Whether this course of action, job, business, career is really a good fit for our unique soulprint.

So, be aware of the illusions you’re being sold every day. Work on yourself and find your own unique path. Experiment with different things to find what best nurtures your soul. And don’t be afraid to change course when a path is no longer serving you. We learn, we grow, we change.

Our brains are not even fully developed until 25-26. It’s ridiculous to expect to reach the peak of our lives in terms of success and fulfillment before that.

By all means, it’s great if we do amazing things before that age. But it’s equally great to do amazing things after that age, as well. And it’s completely normal for our ideas of happiness, success and fulfillment to evolve over time.

You don’t have to have it all figured out by 25. And not even by 30 or 40, really. There is no timeline. “THE” timeline is an illusion. Create your own timeline, live life by your own rules and stop buying into the rush and the pressure. Do it in your own rhythm and enjoy the ride.

Do it because you love it, because you’re passionate about it, because it lights you up, it drives you. Please, please, please, don’t do it just because parents, friends, neighbors or society say so. Do it for YOU and beware of the illusions.

I am almost 29 and I’m still trying to figure it out. I still have big dreams. I’m still exploring and experimenting and creating my own answers to the question ‘What am I doing with my life?’

And I’m giving myself the time and space to craft my own path. I’m releasing the timeline and path I’ve been sold and soul searching my way through life.

Breathe. Pause. It’s not the end of the world and you don’t have to have it all figured out, as much as it may seem so. Take it one step at a time, one day at a time. With patience and commitment. You’ll get there.

Do you also struggle with pressure to have it all figured out? If so, comment below and let me know your age, too.

Let’s encourage our youth and everyone else that it’s really ok and honestly, absolutely critical to take the time they need and craft a life path that feels right for them.